Suffocated!!!@@

I am suffocated!@!
It is the last semester for god's sake! sometimes i'm really confused. i wanted to get out as soon as i can but there are times as well that i think i will miss whatever i'm having now. friendships, relationship mostly... but...nowadays everything just doesn't go well... everything starts to feel so strange to me. friends, people, even the building. something is totally wrong in my mind!!!!

most of the time, i will sit down and look into empty spaces and many things will come to my mind randomly...too random and when i start to sort things out ...i am blank!!!

so many things to do!!!! assignments, video, mtv, research, thesis, final song, orchestra?! Cello! which one should i focus first...

one thing my lecturer said to me, "estee, you are like a baby, you tend to do things like someone who never think.... u must grow up..dun just play notes, u need to feel what u are playing.

i think and think...i don't really know!! i don't wanna think!!! i just wanna finish this as soon as possible!!!

i am depressed@@ i wanna get out!! i dowan to do things i dowan to do anymore!! just please dun push me! i am going crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!